http://www.blogger.com/template-edit.g?blogID=9643386&saved=true
The Story Of My Heart...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
And i thought i would be convinced that i wasn't too rash to try once more. Looks like i'm proven wrong once again. This feeling of continuous dread doesn't seem to fully lift. Like a ton of bricks weighing upon my chest. * I guess this is not the right one. Why then are we wasting time... If i'm wrong to say all this, why then do i always have to hand over the idiot's guide? Why then do i somehow feel that i'm waiting for something. And it will never happen. Going the extra mile to bring a smile doesn't occur naturally, it's as if it has to be asked. Like i have to make it happen. Its crazy. It used to be just little said. Now its barely actions nor words. I feel tired. Like a huge sigh escaping from me kind of tired. i say whatever. If it goes, it goes i guess. I should learn to truly let go when it is that moment. Not to hold on and wish that non-existent 'words, actions & personal ideology' will come to pass. lets say this together: Whatever, never mind, its okay. I won't care anymore. One day, these half-lies may become the truth. When the person you tell it to believes your white lies as well as when we can convince ourselves that it is truly better this way. The latter is almost too difficult but no way is it impossible. i shall try. I used to think its worth it. Now i'm questioning the non-existent logic.
