The Story Of My Heart...

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Heart racing.
Clammy palms.
Hot flushed faces.
Hyper-ventilating.
That was how it was a day ago.
*
Had stomach cramps the day before.
I guess it was the butterflies beating their wings a teewee too hard.
Took the train down to Outram on results day, to meet the other 3 Yellow people and a white couple.
For the first time in a long time, i was spot on. Not even a minute early or late.
(Aud mentioned it was because today was an important day. How true?)
Made a double-back, this time to Pasir Ris.
By then, we were too nervous to eat lunch.
*
Each step closer to school,
my heart skips another beat.
First step through those familiar gates and i could feel my heart thumping all the way up to my throat.
Goodness gracious.
I wasn't even that nervous for O level results. It was like *snaps*
Was chased all the way to the hall.
And The P. told us we did well.
To my standards, it wasn't really all that good. haha..
By good standards i say, 100% passes for all and a 50% distinction rate for all subjects.
*
The atmosphere was all too much i say.
All the blood rushing to my face. I wouldn't be surprised if it was beetroot red.
On screen, the A-ers were mentioned.
Name after name, we applauded.
(poor J2's in the Lecture theatre had to sit through the release of our results, with more than a 100 getting 3 A's.)
Maybe i was too immersed in my own world,
Maybe it was the pounding of my heart in my ears.
I didn't hear. I dumbly stared at the screen. And didn't realise it was me.
Until ade kindly nudged me and told me to go up.
I can't believe that i could still sillily ask her, "go up now ah?" LOL!
When just moments earlier i was watching people get their 5 secs of fame.
No sense of relief, it was ineffable.
Half walked, half ran. All those eyes burning into me. I just wanted to collect my result slip and disappear.
Couldn't look at it. Didn't want to look at it. Till i was reminded to.
I wouldn't call it a total disappointment, but yet i can't say i'm entirely gleeful about it either.
However, its self-gratifying and self-fulfilling.
All those people who doubted me, if i was evil, i would go "bwahahaha" in their faces.
But evil isn't in fashion now and just not in my nature.
I guess i have to thank the heavens and my guardian angel that i have 3 distinctions to play with.
Did i mention i detest B-ees. Urghhh.. But its better than any other alphabet yea?
Anyway, i totally appreciated all the help i had through the torturing A's.
And the many thank you-s.
*
I'm really happy that da gang did great.
Out of 6, 5 of us went up to collect our results.
All thanks to the countless teabreaks and a library full of comic books, i say.
(well, that was what i told mrs H. anyway) hehee
Yes. We even went to thank the librarian auntie for asking us to "shush!" during all those numerous mugging sessions.
I kinda miss those days. *grins*
05s201 totally rocks my socks.
None of us got below a B in our A level subjects. woot! hahaha.
If only it was a straight distinction class though.
But beggars can't be choosers.
*
After all the gold-fish like gaping for a breather in all the nervousness and anticipation...
The moment hits me like a tidal wave straight after collection of results.
The feeling isn't all good.
Call me silly, but its a scary feeling now.
It seems as if the currents are stronger now.
And i must swim with a great more effort.
But as always, with the end goal in mind.
My best is all i can do.
*
All the pieces of the puzzle of my life is somehow, somehow falling into place...

**xoxo cher at 2:38 pm
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